Jumpy Claps for Melissa McCarthy

I really like it when stylists treat plus-sized women the same way they do the Under 16 Crowd: by putting them in clothing that flatters, regardless of the number on the tag.

Melissa McCarthy's stylist has been guilty of not following this maxim. Often, I see her dressed in clothes that scream, "I am made for fat girls! This is a fat girl shirt!" and I find it disappointing because Melissa is so much better than that. Which is why I'm super happy with her latest esemble:

It's a floral wrap dress from ASOS and it looks fantastic. Often, florals can cause what I like to call "Aunt Edna's Couch Syndrome". This horrifying condition occurs when a plus-sized woman is put in the type of musty and outdated floral print that used to cover Aunt Edna's couch. You remember Aunt Edna: she smelled like mothballs and baby powder, always had a casserole in the oven and a hard candy in her purse, and she still had the same sofa that her parents gave her for her wedding in 1950.

Mel here has handily avoided looking like anything of the sort. This floral print is modern enough to look like this dress is still actually on the shelves, and it's not size-specific. I can see this dress on everyone from Helen Mirren to Dakota Fanning.

She also kind of killed it in the accessories department:



Fat girls can totally rock Jimmy Choo. They may be a smidgeon too high on the ankle in a leg foreshortening kind of way, and I might also wish that her nail polish was slightly more youthful but, really, I'm just splitting hairs.




And the bag! The bag! I don't know that I've seen a better example of how to mix prints in a long time. Same colors, similar scale, perfection! I need this bag. Please tell me it is also from ASOS...

1930's Tropics

The S/S14 collection from Hermes looks to be inspired by Doris Duke's days at Shangri-la and Katharine Hepburn's trek on The African Queen. 

Add a petrol green sweater dress to transition from winter to spring:

Pair a light, exotic-print blouse to lighten up a pair of jeans and riding boots:

Add a rustic vest or jacket to a pair of jewel-toned leggings and combat boots:

Wear your warm leather jacket with a summery drop-waist maxi skirt:

Complete the look with a few retro-inspired accessories:

Neon Nation

Remember 80's neon? I do. I had a day-glo Body Glove t-shirt and neon pink leggings. I wore them with my tiered denim acid wash skirt and side ponytail. It was not a good look, but I was committed.

 

Since those days, designers have tried a few times to give it a comeback, but it's never really stuck. I assert that it's because neon just really is not flattering. In fact, they are harsh and aggressive. 

Neons are bullies. They scream "LOOK AT ME! I will burn your eyes and harass your retinas, but you will LOOK!" And I'm just not a fan of bullies.

Nicki Minaj

See? Isn't that harsh? I mean, the color of her hair actually hurts to look at. With such treacherous waters out there in the neon sea, I figure I should do my part to offer safe navigation.

Start small. Choose a piece of jewelry, watch, bow, belt, etc. They are easy to integrate into a closet and you can buy them cheaply enough to get rid of them when this trend's (hopefully, short) half-life is over.

Deborah Lippmann "Who Run the World (Girls)" Collection

Alexis Bittar

Adidas

Topshop

J. Crew

Nordstrom

If you are going to wear any highlighter color at all, I feel the best choice by far is pink. While you may risk it bringing out unflattering redness in your skin, it won't make you look nearly as zombie-riffic as yellow or green.

For the love of all that is sacred a pure, please put your neon on a neutral. Navy blue works especially well, but khaki, grey, and most any denim will work very nicely. White is a bit more challenging, as it can increase the harshness of the neon and give you a 'highlighter on printer paper' effect. Someone with medium to deep skintones can pull this off, but I encourage the pale girls to stay away.

J. Crew

If you feel particularly bold, choose a neon shoe or bag.

Vans

Rebecca Minkoff

J. Crew

J. Crew

Wouldn't those Vans look adorable with cuffed skinny jeans? The sandals would work with denim shorts and the flats would look great with a navy skirt.

Wear this with khaki shorts/skirt and boat shoes for a nautical look:

J. Crew

 Tuck this into a navy pencil skirt and pop a blazer over it for work:

Ted Baker

Add a dark denim jacket and a grey tank for date night:

J. Crew

And please, please, please, do not wear multiple neon colors at once. You may end up looking like this: