Jumpy Claps for Melissa McCarthy

I really like it when stylists treat plus-sized women the same way they do the Under 16 Crowd: by putting them in clothing that flatters, regardless of the number on the tag.

Melissa McCarthy's stylist has been guilty of not following this maxim. Often, I see her dressed in clothes that scream, "I am made for fat girls! This is a fat girl shirt!" and I find it disappointing because Melissa is so much better than that. Which is why I'm super happy with her latest esemble:

It's a floral wrap dress from ASOS and it looks fantastic. Often, florals can cause what I like to call "Aunt Edna's Couch Syndrome". This horrifying condition occurs when a plus-sized woman is put in the type of musty and outdated floral print that used to cover Aunt Edna's couch. You remember Aunt Edna: she smelled like mothballs and baby powder, always had a casserole in the oven and a hard candy in her purse, and she still had the same sofa that her parents gave her for her wedding in 1950.

Mel here has handily avoided looking like anything of the sort. This floral print is modern enough to look like this dress is still actually on the shelves, and it's not size-specific. I can see this dress on everyone from Helen Mirren to Dakota Fanning.

She also kind of killed it in the accessories department:



Fat girls can totally rock Jimmy Choo. They may be a smidgeon too high on the ankle in a leg foreshortening kind of way, and I might also wish that her nail polish was slightly more youthful but, really, I'm just splitting hairs.




And the bag! The bag! I don't know that I've seen a better example of how to mix prints in a long time. Same colors, similar scale, perfection! I need this bag. Please tell me it is also from ASOS...

Dita Von Teese Wants Natural Beauty

So, I don't really know all that much about Dita Von Teese. Probably more than the average person, but that's just because I pay attention to stuff. To me, she is an embodiment of Dolly Parton's famous quip: "Find out who you are and then do it on purpose." She has her styling down to a tee and truly commits to her look.

Take off all her makeup and she's probably a very pretty woman, but lacquer her up and she is a bombshell. This is one thing I love so much about styling: that every woman, no matter how 'average' can find what really works for her and shows her to her best advantage.

This woman is almost 40.

Dita here has her own line of lingerie which goes into the plus sizes and up to a G cup. The little I know about lingerie tells me that going to G is not very extraordinary, but for a celebrity line I think it's pretty decent. She had women of all sizes walk the runway at her show and tweeted: "To set the record straight, my Von Follies lingerie show 'no spray tan policy' means NATURAL skin tones will be represented, pale & dark.''

Fabulous. Severely. I really, really love it. Pale =/= Ugly (or 'pasty').

Beautiful skin and she definitely has lines around her eyes and on her forehead. Awesome. She doesn't appear to be injected with fillers or paralyzers, either.

She's got a sort of Ava Gardner thing happening, and I adore the sharp red nails with half-moon mani. "I've had 2 years to sharpen my claws, mother; Jungle Red!"

Check it: 3 different-sized women wearing very similar garments (i.e. the 'plus size' one is not covered head to toe) and all of them look sexy, confident, and real.

The blonde in the back on the left? A bit heavy in the middle. The brunette next to Dita? Thick thighs. The lady on the right? Hips, baby, hips. Figure flaws? Oh heck no. They all look luscious.

Photos courtesy of JustJared.

Christmas Wish List

Elizabeth & James "Eclipse" Necklace

Elizabeth & James "Eclipse" Earrings

Botkier "Evans" Continental Wallet

ModCloth Plaid Skirt

John Lewis 60 Denier Tights

John Lewis Barely There Non-Slip Pantyhose

John Lewis Animal Print Scarf

MaxMara Dress

L.K. Bennett Flats

L.K. Bennett "Sledge 2" Pumps

Anthropologie Turquoise Heels

Anthropologie Wedges

Anthropologie "Embrace" Earrings

Anthropologie "Aolani" Hoops

John Lewis Scarf

ModCloth Cobalt Dress

ModCloth Suede Booties

ModCloth Wedges

ModCloth Messenger Bag

Skagen Watch

Botkier Top Handle Bag

Coats for The Pale: Anything But Black

I love this time of year. Chilly weather gives me a valid excuse to snuggle in my blanket and drink tea. i also have a soft spot for winter coats. A good coat lifts the winter blues and makes you want to prance around downtown.

But you know what's not-so-good? Boring black coats. Sure, they "go with everything", but that's really not the point. A coat doesn't need to go with everything. It wants to stand out. It yearns to say, "put me on and feel festive!" And are you really telling me that a red pea coat is going to clash with your enormous denim collection? No, it won't and you know it.

So, here are my picks for anything-but-boring winter coats in colors that are perfect for The Pale:

A Burberry-esque (or "Furberry" [Faux Burberry], if you will) pea coat is unexpected and smart. Avoid large patterns if you are petite.

Gorgeous Periwinkle evokes bluebirds and spring. Just the ticket to get you through the Winter Blues. Waistband gives a covetous hourglass figure. Avoid large hip pockets if you are pear-shaped.

Military styling adds wit to this grape-hued pea coat.

Olive drab gives the ladylike buttons and puffed shoulders a bit of an edge. Avoid shoulder details when yours are broad.

Perfect over comfy cords or an LBD, this skirted red number is feminine and a little retro. Think: Grace Kelly.

A modern pea coat with wide-set buttons and a stunning emerald shade is perfect for just about anyone.

A funnel-neck is a great way to combat the cold, especially if you can't stand wearing scarves. Short neck? Avoid.

Faux fur and a ridiculously cute flared skirt make this coat perfect for nights on the town. Marilyn would've done it.

Vertical ruffles elongate and the belt cinches. Perfect for large frames and plus-sizes.

Nautical-inspired toggles add interest to a casual red coat. Minimal pockets and lack of cuffs make this a great option for tomboys and girls who are more straight up-and-down.

Military buttons and pockets, edgy funnel neck and shoulders, feminine color. For the girl who wants everything.

It's no secret that I love menswear. Make a classic men's overcoat look less like you borrowed it off a bum and more like you did it on purpose by choosing one in a bold color.

Simple, English Country Elegance. Works for everyone.

What I Wore

ASOS peach chiffon shift dress. Size 16.

Vince Camuto "Rina" wedges. Size 10.

Lucky Brand chandelier earrings.

Calvin Klein silver leather belt. Size XL.