Neon Nation

Remember 80's neon? I do. I had a day-glo Body Glove t-shirt and neon pink leggings. I wore them with my tiered denim acid wash skirt and side ponytail. It was not a good look, but I was committed.

 

Since those days, designers have tried a few times to give it a comeback, but it's never really stuck. I assert that it's because neon just really is not flattering. In fact, they are harsh and aggressive. 

Neons are bullies. They scream "LOOK AT ME! I will burn your eyes and harass your retinas, but you will LOOK!" And I'm just not a fan of bullies.

Nicki Minaj

See? Isn't that harsh? I mean, the color of her hair actually hurts to look at. With such treacherous waters out there in the neon sea, I figure I should do my part to offer safe navigation.

Start small. Choose a piece of jewelry, watch, bow, belt, etc. They are easy to integrate into a closet and you can buy them cheaply enough to get rid of them when this trend's (hopefully, short) half-life is over.

Deborah Lippmann "Who Run the World (Girls)" Collection

Alexis Bittar

Adidas

Topshop

J. Crew

Nordstrom

If you are going to wear any highlighter color at all, I feel the best choice by far is pink. While you may risk it bringing out unflattering redness in your skin, it won't make you look nearly as zombie-riffic as yellow or green.

For the love of all that is sacred a pure, please put your neon on a neutral. Navy blue works especially well, but khaki, grey, and most any denim will work very nicely. White is a bit more challenging, as it can increase the harshness of the neon and give you a 'highlighter on printer paper' effect. Someone with medium to deep skintones can pull this off, but I encourage the pale girls to stay away.

J. Crew

If you feel particularly bold, choose a neon shoe or bag.

Vans

Rebecca Minkoff

J. Crew

J. Crew

Wouldn't those Vans look adorable with cuffed skinny jeans? The sandals would work with denim shorts and the flats would look great with a navy skirt.

Wear this with khaki shorts/skirt and boat shoes for a nautical look:

J. Crew

 Tuck this into a navy pencil skirt and pop a blazer over it for work:

Ted Baker

Add a dark denim jacket and a grey tank for date night:

J. Crew

And please, please, please, do not wear multiple neon colors at once. You may end up looking like this:

Emma Stone's Mixed Blues (Bonus Andrew Garfield)

 

When I say that navy and red are neutrals and can be worn together with other colors I am serious.

First of all, the skirt is freaking adorable. Its 1960's secretarial vibe would normally lend itself to a pairing with a sleek button-down or even a bustier. I like that Emma has added super-trendy stripes to the look and, by doing so in the form of a t-shirt, adds a youthful edge.

The blue stripe of the shirt does not match the skirt. And it's cool. It's called 'tonal'. I don't love the sepia/sienna stripe in the shirt, but it acts as a nice, earthy base and works tonally with her hair.

To avoid that sepia washing out her complexion, she has added a turquoise collar necklace. It works well with both blues (more tonal) and looks great with the earth-tone. Plus, it's young and fresh.

As for the shoes: who doesn't love navy and red? The cut of the pump is flattering for her feet and legs and gives the whole look pizazz.

I guess that's just another 'Easy A' (wah-wah) for Emma Stone!

Spring/Summer Wardrobe Spruce-Up

All Black's Recycled Newspaper Flat

A cream open-weave top like this one.

Blue and white sailboat skirt similar to this guy from Anthropologie.

A vintage silk satin button down in cream like this one.

An a.n.a. western denim shirt (with pearl snaps!).

A navy single button blazer from Lafayette 148 in a shape similar to this one.

 

Ralph Lauren silver teardrop earrings

dv by Dolce Vita wedges ($15!!)

Add these great items to my wardrobe from last year...

Calvin Klein belt

Asos peach dress

Asos orange skirt

Lafayette 148 white blazer

...and I've got a pretty sturdy wardrobe.

Now, if I could just find a decent pair of leather-soled sandals...

Pale Girls at the Grammys

First of all, sorry for the delay in posting. I have been working on my Etsy store, VikingBeautyVintage, and have been doing a fair amount of writing for my book (yes, I am planning on publishing).

In return for putting up with my absence, I will give you a post chock full of Grammy Awards victories and fails as well as a surprise at the end. :)

 Alison Krauss

a

Let's face it: country musicians are not known for good fashion sense. See: Twain, Shania; Chicks, Dixie; Judd, Wynonna and Naomi. Having said that, I do wonder why Alison here is wearing a hand-crocheted capelet/baby afghan. Mostly, when I see it I just wonder why. What is this piece actually doing? It's certainly not keeping her warm or camouflaging lumpy upper arms. It does look like a quality item, but I'm more concerned that she robbed the back of a nursery school sofa. what is this piece actually doing?

Joy Williams

I admit that I have no idea whether this lady is a solo act or part of a group and I don't know what types of music she sings. I'm going to go out on a limb and say country, because she seems to have a bit of Alison Krauss-itis. By which I mean that she appears to have stolen a wee lacy item, but this time she took it to make herself a Barbie's First Funeral gown. Points for keeping the makeup light.

Shelly Mooring of the band Leeland

No idea about this lady, either. To tell the truth I'm not a huge music fan, which is probably why I only recognize the people that I've seen on SNL. Regardless, this broad looks like she went a little too far with 'cutesy-goth' and ended up with 'I had a buy 10 get 1 free coupon at Hot Topic'.

Mika Newton

Allegedly, this one is an actress. She has clearly followed the funeral costume trend but, instead she decided to dress as the tartlet seen faking tears over her rich, 80 year-old lover's grave while trying to sneak a peek at the will.

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper as a menopausal tartlet and the dead man's former wife.

Bonnie Raitt

Bonnie here is awesome. Great voice and cool personal style with the little swatch of white hair. Very classy. I just wish she hadn't purchased her attire at a sale at SteinMart. I don't mind the pants so much I guess, but I do find them rather casual for THE GRAMMYS. The overgrown metallic sausage casing she squeezed herself into? Not so much.

Skylar Grey

I do not know her but I know I do not like her. 1) her hair is unforgivably flat, 2) she has caked on so much foundation that her skin looks like a wax figure, 3) she is matching her shoes to the carpet. And did I mention the lipstick? Dead dead dead. What with the Grammys and bringing out every one's morbid streak?

Katy Perry

Oh, well here's something decidedly not morbid. Katy does a lovely impression of a Smurf. Which is fitting since she voiced Smurfette in the movie. And yes, I know she's not pale in this picture ( I hope that's a spray tan, Katy), but she usually is so I figured I'd grandfather her in. I actually don't hate the blue hair on her. The dress makes me think of blue cotton candy, though, and then I start to feel slightly queasy.

Robyn

I love Robyn. She's funky and fun and sings dance pop and is from Sweden. She's like a sort of one woman ABBA in that I always want to dance to her songs whenever I hear them regardless of time or place appropriateness. And that's why I will give this a pass.

For more snarkily delicious Grammy commentary visit: The Fug Girls

Pretty Grunge

When I was about 11 I started wearing combat boots with dresses and ripped jeans with flannel. I listened to REM, watched 'Clueless', played viola and thought I was grunge.

I look back on this and remember that it was probably one of the first times that I experimented with fashion and just wore what I wanted. Sure, it wasn't particularly good-looking, and the kids at school probably thought I was a nutcase and living under a bridge, but I dug it.

To this day, I have a particular affinity for a hot pair of combat boots, a good old plaid shirt and some ripped stockings. I just think it's cool. Pairing a girly dress with a leather bag and some boots creates a sort of hippie devil-may-care aura.

Rachel Bilson rocking Pretty Grunge

I especially love spring fashion with some killer boots.

All Saints 'Damisi' Boots

Lace peplum top

Grungy skinny jeans

Studded bangles

Or how about this

Asos boots

Modcloth jacket

Swiss dot dress

Barbed wire ring

I can't explain it. It's just hot. Women turning menswear on its head and making lace look tough.

Put Katniss Everdeen in a dress and she'd throw on her own hunting boots and give you the finger.

That's what it's all about.

My boots? Well, they're these: