I Want

Valentino Demetria Leather-Lace Bag

Pale Girls at the Golden Globes

The Best

in ascending order

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu

Great color, lovely texture. Michelle has an adorable round face and her gamine haircut and '20s headband give her a Gatsby edge that is unique.

Detail I Love: the belt. It's delicate, breaks up the heaviness of the fabric and echos the headband.

Jodie Foster in Armani Prive

Light teal blue with beading and a bit of interest with the edged ruffle. I don't feel like I've already seen this five times on five other women. I love that she has kept her accessories to the minimum, but her dark shoes are a bit of an eyesore. Nude or metallic, please Jodie.

Detail I Love: Her haircut, which perfectly flatters her angular jaw.

Emma Stone in Lanvin

This crimson and eggplant chiffon number is edgy and elegant and not at all old. Both colors flatter Emma's porcelain skin and her eye makeup reflects the rock and roll aspect of the gown without being heavy or harsh. Small earrings and strappy heels support rather than add to the look so that it doesn't look over styled. I love that the belt buckle gives it a Gothic edge, but I would rather see it mounted on a piece of black velvet instead of that heavy strap of leather.

Detail I Love: Beaded shoulders that are proportionate to her frame make her look like a warrior princess versus Melanie Griffith circa 'Working Girl'.

Shailene Woodley in Marchesa

Do I feel a bit like I've Seen This Before? Maybe. It is Marchesa, after all. But Shailene here is 20 and has a lovely figure and beautiful skin. Her face is not covered in makeup and her accessories are sparse. I applaud her stylist's choice to showcase her youth and natural beauty. 

Detail I Love: The baby-fine netting forming straps and covering her decollete make her look both sexy and demure.

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

Jessica has a beautifully long neck and, therefore, can pull off a high neck like the one on this dress without looking like she's being strangled. The dress is also covered in pearls. I love that it doesn't have sleeves and reminds me of old school Calvin Klein tank dresses. I am not a hug fan of the large button earrings, but her bone structure and windswept hair keep them from looking mumsy.

Detail I Love: The teensy gold belt. It breaks up the solidness of the column dress and brings attention to her waist.

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

This Woman. I just- I just can't. On anyone else, this would have looked like a Dexter-ish blood slide dress. Her personality and bone structure enable her to pull off a harsh slice of red at the neck. There's no cleavage, but she has a high side slit and the white satin shows off her sick figure. I love the addition of the red clutch. You can't see it in this photo, but Angie's wearing white peep toe shoes. Not Red. This is a Huge Deal. Red shoes and red bag would have ruined the look by making it too 'on the nose' Cruella de Vil-y. 

Detail I Love: That her lipstick is a blue-based red that is a different tone than the accent on the dress. This keeps it from looking costumey.

Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci

Scales to feathers in a metallic blue-black-green make Evan look like an exotic creature from a fantasy novel. This dress is like nothing I've ever seen and her brushed back hair, minimal makeup and lack of heavy accessories ensure that the gown is center stage.

Detail I Love: The bit of black tulle at the shoulders and neck look delicate and ladylike.

Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann

This color. The shape. The textures. The bracelets. The hair. This woman is from another planet and that planet's name is Flawless. Tilda Swinton is excited by fashion and her obvious love of design and craftsmanship make her a true joy to watch.

Detail I Love: That she folded over one of the lapels. It give the jacket a less deliberate look.

Nicole Kidman in Versace

When Nicole came out onstage last night I yelled "Versace!" at the top of my lungs. I couldn't contain it; I have designer tourettes. Nicole resembles one of those sylph-like art nouveau fairies bedecked in gold buttons. The architectural elements flatter her columnar frame. The decollete is interesting and her cleavage is contained. Small gold accessories support the dress and her long hair adds a feminine touch. No one else could wear this dress as well as Nicole.

Detail I Love: Everything

The Worst

in no particular order

Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci

I don't hate this, I just don't particularly love it. It's very, very severe and I worry that she looks Old. The neckline is actually lovely on her, but I would have preferred to see her in a color. Also, the poor girl looks terrified.

What Kills It: The dust ruffle at the hem.

Kate Winslet in Jenny Packham

I actually don't hate this one, either. You have to love classic black and white and the neckline and sleeves are awesome. I do not love that the white block is on the bottom-half of her body. She is heavier in her hips and I feel this makes her look a bit chunky. It's also a little old. I would love this on Helen Mirren, for example.

What Kills It: The black shoes. No. They take away all of the lightness the white skirt achieved.

Zooey Deschanel In Prada

Zooey, Zooey, Zooey. I like you. A lot. Probably more than I should considering you're getting Played Out. Your side-bangs are strange and so is this dress. I actually like the lime green on you. It's young and fun just like you, Zooey. But what is with the weird pattern on top and the black satin sheet on bottom? This is just odd.

What Kills It: The lacy peter pan collar. Chop off the top of this dress and make it strapless. 

Katharine McPhee in Donna Karan

I really don't care about Katharine McPhee. She seems nice, I guess but that's really all the farther I get with her. I will, however, be watching 'Smash', but that's just because Anjelica Huston and Commodore Norrington are also in it. I'm sure you're quite a good singer/actress, but honey. Why are you trying to disappear? You have no color. Anywhere. Not even on your face. In this dress even your personality looks beige.

What Kills It: The color. 

Dianna Agron in Giles

I don't Hate this dress. I just think it's Too Much for her. Take off the tiered lace bottom and add a long skirt of red chiffon. Much better. I just find all the laser cuts to be a bit dizzying and she doesn't have the presence to keep the dress from wearing her.

What Kills It: Her Mom hair.

Julianne Moore in Chanel

Oh Julianne, you look like a little girl who's gotten into her big sister's closet full of Black Swan tutus and put them all on at once. I know a peplum is in, but not when it's layers of dead black tulle around the hips. NOOO. Your face is gorgeous and I covet your hair. See kids? She has cut the drabness of the black dress by adding a flattering color, green, next to her face. Even emeralds, however cannot save this dress.

What Kills It: The entire dress and the boring black clutch.

Taking White Wedding To A New Level

Thanks again, Kate Middleton: The ivory bridesmaids' dress is huge.

Pippa and the flower girls

When I first saw Pippa walking down that aisle in a white dress I thought it was a bit odd but totally smart. Women all over the world were going to emulate Kate's wedding, and I was glad she didn't limit us to seeing every bridesmaid in lime green until the end of time. She chose a color that is always wedding-appropriate and timeless.

Is there any doubt as to which one is the bride?

White, ivory or nude bridesmaids' dresses look fresh and young. They look lovely on Pippa's tanned skin (ahem), and also beautiful on Pale girls.

Classical and Botticelli-esque

Three different skin tones, all glowing and ethereal

I predict this is a trend we'll be seeing for a long time to come.

Merry Christmas

I give you the gift of highlights from the Spring/Summer 2012 shoe collections.

Prada Cut-Out Toe Pump

Bottega Veneta Asymmetric d'Orsay Skimmer

B Brian Atwood Leaf Covered Sandal

Jimmy Choo Piped Suede Pump

Lanvin Zig-Zag Heel Sandal

Lanvin Lizard-Printed T-Strap Wedge Sandal

Miu Miu Suede Wedge

Giuseppe Zanotti Metal-Plate T-Strap Wedge Sandal

Christian Louboutin "Creve Coeur"

Christian Louboutin "Serena" Lace-up Pump

Valentino Rockstud Wedge

Stella McCartney Low Acrylic Heel Sandal

Brian Atwood "Silly String" Ankle Boot

Fendi Swirl Cutout Colorblock Sandal

Giuseppe Zanotti "Fishnet"

Sugar Cookie Princess

Sometimes, I compare the colors of my clothes to food.

It's an easy way to learn color and is more descriptive than 'orangey-red'. 'Orangey-red' could mean a number of things, but 'tomato-colored' is much more targeted.

When I am trying a new color or am attempting to pinpoint the shade that would look best on me, I mentally assign the color to a food item. Then, I section that food item off into groups.
This makes it easier for me to classify the color and, therefore decide if it is flattering.

Example: Beige

Biscuity (neutral)
-garbanzo bean (warm)
-snickerdoodle (neutral)
-mashed potatoes (cool)

See? I realize I sound a bit nuts, but it works for me. So, that brings me to my photo topic of the day: Princess Charlene of Monaco.

Charlene Wittstock, Princess of Monaco

Looks like she stole Kate's nude pumps.

This outfit is the color of a sugar cookie. It's a bit on the cool side and that works with her ice-blonde highlights and fair complexion. She has also grasped one of the keys to making a monochromatic look work: texture. Her skirt is a different texture than her belted poncho, which is a different texture than her leather gloves.

In short, this is fabulous.

But, don't get too excited.

Princess Charlene and Prince Albert

We now have the Taupe Monster. Taupe does not have an assigned food because it is half gray and half brown and that's a pretty easy concept to grasp.

Now, I actually really like the dress. It's bold to swathe her strong swimmers shoulders in an origami napkin of velvet, but she is quite tall and carries it off. And I don't even mind the color as much as I mind her face paired with said color.

At least she has color on her nails...?

She could also use an eyebrow pencil.

She has no color. I mean, she's put purple on her eyes (which is a mistake in my opinion), but has nothing on her lips and no blush. She looks like a weird, unfinished mannequin. Ladies, this is why we need blush. And lipstick. Something. Anything. Help her.

And what is with the Tin Tin hair? That mess is so full of Dep it could withstand a hurricane.

And does her uni-sleeve have a thumb hole? That's a cute addition on a sweater or tee, but on a formal gown? No.

Tilda Swinton would have done this better. But I suppose that's unfair because, when it comes to fashion,  Tilda Swinton does everything better.

Charlene, you are both Doing It Right and Doing It Wrong. Kudos.

The Best Nude Shoes

Catherine "Kate" Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge

Would you like to have longer-, slimmer- looking legs?

If the answer is no thank you, then you should leave this blog right now. I can't help you and, frankly, you disappoint me.

If, as I expect, your hand shot up in the air quicker than Hermione Granger's during a Potions class, I have a solution for you.

Nude shoes.

I know. It's not novel or ground-breaking, but it does work provided you adhere to a couple of rules.

First Rule:

Choose the right hue. The way in which nude is most effective is when it matches your skintone as closely as possible. The Pale are typically best served by cool, ivory tones with either yellow or pink undertones.

Exhibit A

Too Light

Paris Hilton looks like she's a little girl on Easter Sunday. And not in the good way.

Too Dark

Hayley Atwell's tan court shoes are both too dark and too gray; they drain the life from her skin.

 Exhibit B


Consider heritage and/or ethnicity. A shoe that matches the skin tone of a black woman may be in the brown family. Mixed race or Latina will probably be caramel, and Asian or Mediterranean will most likely be a yellow or olive tone.

Lucy Liu does it right

Zoe Saldana is wearing tan shoes. They match her skin and look fabulous.

How The Pale do it:

You can't tell where Olivia Wilde's legs end and her shoes begin.

Anne Hathaway rocking a pair of Sam Edelman's

Emma Roberts

You're Doing It Wrong:

The black strap at Alyssa Milano's ankles shorten and thicken her legs.

Kristen Bell's shoes are too gray. The dress, lipstick, skin, and hair are all the same color. And that color is blah. As a result, she looks lifeless and the heavy eyeliner make her eyes look like black holes.

Inspired and want to shop? Here are some great options:
   

Pour La Victoire 'Rin'

AK Anne Klein 'Pipa'

Corso Como 'Palomar'
 

Ivanka Trump 'Bulbli'

Corso Como 'Python'

Jean-Michel Cazabat

J. Crew 'Jemaa'

Jeffrey Campbell 'Scide Bow'