Rooney Mara and Why Experimental Clothing Doesn't Always Work Out

I get reallly annoyed when people all look the same. Like how in my area right now it seems as if I can't go anywhere without seeing five pieces of Kendra Scott jewelry, eight pairs of Tory Burch Reva flats, and a half dozen Michael Kors Hamilton bags. I understand that oftentimes women who are around each other a lot start to dress alike, so it stands to reason that this will also happen when women shop at the same stores. If it's not tiring to dress like everyone else, then I certainly find it exhausting to look at. 

Which is one of the reasons I find Rooney Mara so refreshing. She has an ethereal and almost Swinton-ian quality about her that allows her to wear things your average cookie-cutter starlet could never dream of pulling off. Designers clearly love this about her and she is always wearing something interesting.

Like here, for example:

Rooney is promoting her new film called "Her" in Rome and her Balenciaga dress certainly looks like Her. It seems to be evoking a sheer version of Gwenyth Paltrow's now epic White Tom Ford Dress Avec Cape from the Oscars. 

Which is fine. Totally. I'm personally feeling rather beleagured by the recent "Everything is SHEER below the knee right now and bonus points if you go sheer from the waist down and get your actress to don a bodysuit or visible knickers of some kind and extra extra points if you include lace because lace is EVERYTHING right now." But I would rather look at two beaten-to-death trends when they are employed in a garment that is at least visually interesting. 

My problems with the get-up are twofold. Namely, that it is rather unflattering in the chestral region and it seems ill-fitted and/or moderately uncomfortable.

I will start with unflattering. The combination of clavicle and shoulder armor with the corresponding horizontal line of Strapless Dress With Bib creates a severe frame for Rooneys's underarm pooches. Now, everyone has these pooches. I have them. You know you have them. They are really not too bad, but certainly neither of us wants them to be hightlighted as the focal point of our torsos.

As far as the fit goes, the dress is either too large on top (which I doubt) or Rooney is uncomfotable with having to wrangle so many elements. 

Either way, she cannot stop messing with it.

She looks like she's had enough of Shoulder Warmer Bridal Veil Boob Napkin time and would just rather be wearing the lace minidress and fabulous lipstick.

Regardless, thanks for keeping it interesting, Rooney. 

Photos: Getty Images

Neon Fan

Wasn't I just saying that the most flattering of all the neon hues is pink? Well, look at what happened last Sunday: 



Fan Bingbing at the Oscars

This is a lot of dress. And she is tiny. But, somehow, this really works. First of all, look at her face. It's really hard to make that look unattractve. While I don't love the fact that the lipstick matches, it has the effect of making her look even more like a living doll.  

I mean, that is a serious amount of silk satin. I love that the folds are very structural. she looks like a Chinese princess made out of hot pink satin origami paper. I have always felt that Asian are more sartorially adventurous than us Westerners, and this just proves my point. What Western actress can you think of that would have pulled this exact look off so flawlessly? Potentially Blanchett.

The inset of embellishment at the back adds a bit of textural interest without detracting from the rest of the dress and has the effect of looking like an obi being peeled away. Super cool. Marchesa works for her because it has the right amount of dreamy drama to compliment her looks and personality.

This is also an instance of great styling. you can plop the dress on her but, as we saw from Renee Zellweger, that isn't where you should stop. The hair has to fit the face and the angles of the gown, while keeping the head in proportion to the rest of the body. This beehive looks retro, architectural, Asian, and modern. all at the same time. Perfect. I maynot have chosen pink sapphires for the jewelry as I feel it tends to blend in with the fabric and lipstick, but I don't really mind it either. In this case, a contrasting color like turquoise could have been striking, but may have been a bit overdone on such a small frame.

In short, this is flawless perfection and I want to have this dress and wear it around my house and to Target carrying a mimosa and long feather boa.

Pale Girls at the Grammys

First of all, sorry for the delay in posting. I have been working on my Etsy store, VikingBeautyVintage, and have been doing a fair amount of writing for my book (yes, I am planning on publishing).

In return for putting up with my absence, I will give you a post chock full of Grammy Awards victories and fails as well as a surprise at the end. :)

 Alison Krauss

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Let's face it: country musicians are not known for good fashion sense. See: Twain, Shania; Chicks, Dixie; Judd, Wynonna and Naomi. Having said that, I do wonder why Alison here is wearing a hand-crocheted capelet/baby afghan. Mostly, when I see it I just wonder why. What is this piece actually doing? It's certainly not keeping her warm or camouflaging lumpy upper arms. It does look like a quality item, but I'm more concerned that she robbed the back of a nursery school sofa. what is this piece actually doing?

Joy Williams

I admit that I have no idea whether this lady is a solo act or part of a group and I don't know what types of music she sings. I'm going to go out on a limb and say country, because she seems to have a bit of Alison Krauss-itis. By which I mean that she appears to have stolen a wee lacy item, but this time she took it to make herself a Barbie's First Funeral gown. Points for keeping the makeup light.

Shelly Mooring of the band Leeland

No idea about this lady, either. To tell the truth I'm not a huge music fan, which is probably why I only recognize the people that I've seen on SNL. Regardless, this broad looks like she went a little too far with 'cutesy-goth' and ended up with 'I had a buy 10 get 1 free coupon at Hot Topic'.

Mika Newton

Allegedly, this one is an actress. She has clearly followed the funeral costume trend but, instead she decided to dress as the tartlet seen faking tears over her rich, 80 year-old lover's grave while trying to sneak a peek at the will.

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper as a menopausal tartlet and the dead man's former wife.

Bonnie Raitt

Bonnie here is awesome. Great voice and cool personal style with the little swatch of white hair. Very classy. I just wish she hadn't purchased her attire at a sale at SteinMart. I don't mind the pants so much I guess, but I do find them rather casual for THE GRAMMYS. The overgrown metallic sausage casing she squeezed herself into? Not so much.

Skylar Grey

I do not know her but I know I do not like her. 1) her hair is unforgivably flat, 2) she has caked on so much foundation that her skin looks like a wax figure, 3) she is matching her shoes to the carpet. And did I mention the lipstick? Dead dead dead. What with the Grammys and bringing out every one's morbid streak?

Katy Perry

Oh, well here's something decidedly not morbid. Katy does a lovely impression of a Smurf. Which is fitting since she voiced Smurfette in the movie. And yes, I know she's not pale in this picture ( I hope that's a spray tan, Katy), but she usually is so I figured I'd grandfather her in. I actually don't hate the blue hair on her. The dress makes me think of blue cotton candy, though, and then I start to feel slightly queasy.

Robyn

I love Robyn. She's funky and fun and sings dance pop and is from Sweden. She's like a sort of one woman ABBA in that I always want to dance to her songs whenever I hear them regardless of time or place appropriateness. And that's why I will give this a pass.

For more snarkily delicious Grammy commentary visit: The Fug Girls