What I Wore

ASOS peach chiffon shift dress. Size 16.

Vince Camuto "Rina" wedges. Size 10.

Lucky Brand chandelier earrings.

Calvin Klein silver leather belt. Size XL.

Color Theory

Sometimes, we like things that are bad for us.


Diet Coke...
Jersey Shore...
Cheetos...
Twilight...


We know they are full of empty calories, hazardous chemicals, and dangerous relationship models, but we ingest them anyway. In small doses these are fairly harmless, but going on a bender makes us strung-out and bloated.

The same can be said for Color.

For example, I really enjoy the color orange. I think it's happy, reminds me of sunflowers, and is a fun bridge between red (a color I Love) and yellow (a color I Loathe). But I have to be very careful how I wear it. I am a Cool blonde and wearing too much Warm colors will make me look like a clown.

See what Scarlett Johansson has done here:

She is a lovely woman, but this is just Too Much. Too much eye makeup, too much necklace, too much Orange. She looks like she is screaming and it is intense.


Now take a looksie here:

Much better. Balanced. I'm not wild on the hair, but I will look past it to focus on the color of her lipstick. It is blue-based versus the offensive orange-based in the first picture. The blue balances better with her cool blonde hair color and the pink in her skin. Putting her in orange makes her look ill and just Wrong.

Often, when we are trying on clothing, we look in the mirror and say, "This is wrong. I don't know why it's wrong, but something is off." We may like the shape, style, fabric or designer of the item. Or sometimes, it is simply the best we can do at that moment so we settle.

Next time you are in this situation, think about the Color. Move to different light. The lights in the vast majority of fitting rooms are fluorescent and cast yellow or green hues. Try on the same item in a different color. Pick any color. Seriously. Just not the color you currently have on. If it still looks off, then don't buy it. Put it back. If it looks weird to you, then it will look weird to others, too. I promise.

Wearing a Boring color is infinitely better than wearing the Wrong one.

Wash on, wash off

So, here's the thing:

At a sleepover one night my friend, Meghan, and I stood at the bathroom sink and washed our faces. I asked for a washcloth and she looked at me as if I had sprouted a third nostril. "Ew, you don't use a washcloth on your face! That's wrong! You will get wrinkles!". Wrinkles? I had never thought of that. My mom's friends had Wrinkles and they always told me I was lucky I didn't have them, too. It was a good thing I had Meghan; she showed me how it was done: Neutrogena Original Cleanser squirted on your hand and rubbed around on your face. Then, the all important Splash. You know the Splash. The luxurious cascade of water every carefree model in the commercials uses to remove whatever cleanser she is selling. Finally, Sea-Breeze. Squirted on a cotton ball and stroked on the face and neck in an upward motion ( again, to defy the Wrinkles). Sea-Breeze was the secret. It had magical properties, smelled like peppermint, and burned like fire.

All throughout our Teen years and, no doubt, into our Twenties, we stripped our skin bare of all moisture and oils with harsh chemicals. Our faces weren't clean unless we felt The Burn. We couldn't sleep unless our skin was so tight dry it felt like a Dixie paper plate. Boy, were we dumb.

Finding the perfect cleanser is like finding a great hairstylist: you have to kiss a lot of frogs and go up to a lot of strangers while screaming at them to reveal their secret until you find the one that fits. There really is no secret, however. Cleansers are a basic part of our daily skincare regimen, and just need to remove impurities and give us a clean enough slate on which to layer our Products.

Go Basic. Cleansers are on your face for less than a minute. They do not need to contain magical seaweed extract and the blood of Unicorns to be effective. Get something that removes makeup and dirt while washing clean (NOTE: "clean" does not mean Dry as Dixie. It means that it does not leave any residue on the skin). Some great ones: Boots Expert Sensitive Cleansing Wash, Clinique Liquid Facial Soap Extra Mild, Eucerin Sensitive Skin Gentle Hydrating Cleanser, Neutrogena Fresh Foaming Cleanser, Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser.

Use a washcloth. I cannot stress this enough. using your palms to push cleanser around on your face may remove your makeup, but it will not clean out pores and remove dead skin cells. Wet a washcloth with warm (read: not hot) water. Add cleanser and rub over entire face including neck and decolletage, remembering to use a very light touch. Rinse out washcloth and wipe your face off. Repeat. Dry face.

NOTE ON TECHNIQUE: The Splash is lovely. Really. It's just not effective. It removes cleanser and surface gunk but that's about it. Employ it after the Washcloth if it's absolutely necessary for you to feel like a Cover Girl.

That's it. No magic. No unicorns. No Burn.

The Beginning

I am Pale.


Not Powder Pale, but definitely "Hey, you're pretty white" Pale. This is less by decision and more by design: my Danish/Irish skin literally repels melanin. During summers in Middle School I was sometimes found laying on a beach towel in my driveway slathered in Hawaiian Tropic and listening to Ace of Base. Most times, I would come away a sweaty, sticky mess with a highly uneven mini-burn. Often, I would get too hot or bored and go inside for a Pepsi One and a healthy dose of A/C (not D/C; I was nothing if not hopelessly uncool). It took a few years, but I finally figured out how to embrace the Pale.

Nowadays, I scroll through beauty blogs and am inundated with a veritable kaleidoscope of shimmers, pigments, finishes, hues, formulas, and ingredients. I get excited about the color swatches and that excitement turns to disappointment when I realize that the skin in the picture does not represent my own. Not by a Long Shot.

In my line of work, I see countless who like color, but are terrified by it or don't know what works or how to put it into practice.

I intend this blog to shine light on the Pale Lifestyle. How we maintain our complexions. How we can wear black without looking like a member of a Death Metal Band. And can we ever pull off the color Yellow?