Uptown Girl

I will be moving apartments in the coming week, so expect a short absence.

Don't worry, I will be back with delightful new posts before you know it.

My Colors

I Want

Fendi "Silvana" Top Handle Satchel

Miss Fix-It

Karen Gillan

Oh, girl.

Girl.

Your skin? Flawless. 

Your hair? A lovely shade of ginger (and we all know how I feel about gingers).

 Might I suggest two things:

A Different Kind of Smokey Eye

  


I once read a quote from a makeup artist that said you should never wear the same color eyeshadow as your eye color because you will look overdone. I call Shenanigans! Brown eyeshadow cannot be place near a lady with brown eyes or else she will look Cracked Out? Um, no. Can it look a bit drab? Sure, but it's not Wrong.

Evidence:

Do I look crackers with green shadow all over my eyes? I think not.

 Now, this is not the exact same color as my irises, but it's close enough for this experiment.

Summery, Smokey, Colorful, and not Insane. Eyeshadows from MAC's A Tartan Tale Holiday 2010 collection.

Smokey Eyes: Black Holes for The Pale?

Ellen Degeneres is in good hands

So here's the thing: we have been bombarded for the last 10 years by The Smokey Eye.

It's Sexy.
It's Smokey.
It's Sultry.
It takes 4 people, six eye shadows, an eye liner, and a psychoanalyst to achieve.

Apart from being challenging to execute, it also poses problems for the Melanin-challenged. Want to look like a raccoon? Check. Need a quick way to get your coworkers to ask where you got two black eyes? Check. Want to look like you're into Death Metal during a board meeting? Check Mate.

Breathe a sigh of relief, however, because the Smokey Eye is not unattainable for The Pale. We just have to adhere to a few rules.

Rule 1:  Unless you are going to a concert, a club, or dressing in costume DO NOT go entirely black.

Taylor Momsen

Little Miss Momsen up there is in a (pretty awesome, actually) Rock Band. She sings lead. Therefore, this look is acceptable on her. Now, do I wish she didn't do her makeup this way all the time? Totally. One of my greatest wishes is to catch a glimpse of a paparazzi pic of her leaving the Safeway wearing nothing but a light shimmer shadow and some Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers.

If you are using a black eyeliner as a base for your Smokey Eye, then make sure to layer some colored shadows on top to soften the look.

Rule 2: Please do not forget the rest of your face. Once we've lined, smudged, swiped, brushed, and blended we can feel like giving up on everything else. Revisit Little Miss Momsen. No blush, no lips, just a giant pasty face with bleached hair and black holes for eyes. Not attractive. It's just as bad when you remember your eyes an lips but forget than you also own skin. Exhibit B:

Kat Dennings

Lady Dennings here is rad. She's Pale, Curvy, and seems to have a cheeky attitude. The thing that ruins this look is that she looks like a Vampire Barbie Doll. And not in The Good Way. She has puce/mauve-tinged eyes, 800 year-old brick lipstick, and a dress that looks like a 1940's tablecloth. She has no color and no life.

Rule 3: Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to execute an ultradark Smokey Eye if you are over the age of 40.

Elizabeth Mitchell

E. Mitch is a beautiful woman who appears to have been led astray by a vengeful makeup artist. Shadow or liner on bottom lids tend to look heavy and can sink into Dark Circles (something we Pale know all about) and la in wrinkles. All of the discolorations your skin has picked up in the last near half-century will be brought to full attention with heavy undereye makeup.

What should The Pale be doing? Well, we should use colors to smoke out our peepers. Deep burgundies, purples, and browns bring all the same goodies to the table as do black and gray, just with far less baggage. Also worth noting: just because it's traditionally a dark look doesn't mean you can't use some awesome light to medium shadows and smoke them out. It keeps the look fresh and work-appropriate.


Examples of doing it Right:

Keira Knightley

Jessica Stam

Amanda Seyfried

Think that you can't wear a Smokey Eye is you are Asian? Think again.

Liu Wen

Fan Bing Bing

**all photos credited to their respective owners. none of these are mine.

I Want

Valentino "Spider" Pump

The Best Nude Shoes

Catherine "Kate" Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge

Would you like to have longer-, slimmer- looking legs?

If the answer is no thank you, then you should leave this blog right now. I can't help you and, frankly, you disappoint me.

If, as I expect, your hand shot up in the air quicker than Hermione Granger's during a Potions class, I have a solution for you.

Nude shoes.

I know. It's not novel or ground-breaking, but it does work provided you adhere to a couple of rules.

First Rule:

Choose the right hue. The way in which nude is most effective is when it matches your skintone as closely as possible. The Pale are typically best served by cool, ivory tones with either yellow or pink undertones.

Exhibit A

Too Light

Paris Hilton looks like she's a little girl on Easter Sunday. And not in the good way.

Too Dark

Hayley Atwell's tan court shoes are both too dark and too gray; they drain the life from her skin.

 Exhibit B


Consider heritage and/or ethnicity. A shoe that matches the skin tone of a black woman may be in the brown family. Mixed race or Latina will probably be caramel, and Asian or Mediterranean will most likely be a yellow or olive tone.

Lucy Liu does it right

Zoe Saldana is wearing tan shoes. They match her skin and look fabulous.

How The Pale do it:

You can't tell where Olivia Wilde's legs end and her shoes begin.

Anne Hathaway rocking a pair of Sam Edelman's

Emma Roberts

You're Doing It Wrong:

The black strap at Alyssa Milano's ankles shorten and thicken her legs.

Kristen Bell's shoes are too gray. The dress, lipstick, skin, and hair are all the same color. And that color is blah. As a result, she looks lifeless and the heavy eyeliner make her eyes look like black holes.

Inspired and want to shop? Here are some great options:
   

Pour La Victoire 'Rin'

AK Anne Klein 'Pipa'

Corso Como 'Palomar'
 

Ivanka Trump 'Bulbli'

Corso Como 'Python'

Jean-Michel Cazabat

J. Crew 'Jemaa'

Jeffrey Campbell 'Scide Bow'

How I Wore My Scarf

I adore scarves. They add femininity to menswear styles and a certain je ne sais quoi to your overall look.

This scarf is a Pucci-esque silk number that I picked up in a vintage store. Paired with a cardigan and flowy chiffon skirt, the knotted style keeps me looking current- not Old.

Cat-eyes With Glasses?

Yup.

Cat-Eyes Worthy of a Star

Amy Winehouse

Winged eyeliner is a great makeup technique. In a world of shading, blending, and smudging, a little flick of liquid liner is a simple and glamorous touch.

It also looks fabulous on The Pale. As I'm not super talented at the aforementioned blending and such, The Cateye is a look I do often. So, in honor of the incomparable Miss Amy, I will show you how I do my famous liquid liner.

I typically choose a liner with a felt tip, like Hourglass Calligraphy Liner, Chantecaille 'Le Stylo', or Lancome 'Artliner'. You can also use an eyeliner brush and gel liner. I've even done this look with a very sharp kohl pencil.

I've tried a million techniques and the one I have found that works is using a Lines and Angles technique to create the framework of the Wing. Then, I just fill in my shapes. If you want a more Glam look, you should apply your eyeshadow before using your eyeliner. I've taken these pictures with a bare eye.

Draw a thin line as close to your lashes as possible. Don't worry if your line is wobbly; you will clean it up later.

Open your eye, and hold your liner against the corner of your eye at the angle at which you'd like to make your Wing. I like to use a 45 degree angle.

Draw down to and not up from the corner of your eye. Starting at the corner and working down gives you a sharper point and will help you make each Wing the same angle.

See? My lines are wobbly. I have a pretty steady hand, but I don't worry about cleanliness so much at this stage. I'm just created the framework of the Wing and will fill everything in later.

Now, draw down from the tip of the Wing to the horizontal line at your lashes. You can create a very thick Wing, like Amy's, by aiming for the middle of your eyelid. For a thinner Wing, aim for a spot close to the corner of your eyelid.

This is what I mean about Lines and Angles. I have created a scalene triangle at the corner of my eye.

Now, fill in the triangle and smooth out your wobbles.

When you do your other eye, look at where the point of your first Wing ended. Mine is close to the tip of my eyebrow, so I will draw my line down from this point on the other eye. This takes away the problem of having your Wings pointing in different directions which is, arguably, the most challenging part of a Cateye.

Play around with it. Use different products, and experiment with making your Wings longer or shorter, thicker or thinner. Add some red lipstick or sheer pink lipgloss. Your options are fairly limitless, so check out how these Ladies of Pale choose to wear their Wings:

Taylor Swift

A shimmery eyeshadow and pretty pink gloss give her Cateye a youthful edge.

Katy Perry

Heavy brows, tons of eyelashes and nude lips.

Dita von Teese

Blue-based red lipstick and 1940's waves.

Candice Swanepoel

All-American Girl with gentle waves and peaches 'n cream complexion.

Alexa Chung

A minimalist look that emphasizes her already lovely almond-shaped eyes.

For this demo I used Lancome's 'Artliner' in 'Forest'.