Jumpy Claps for Melissa McCarthy

I really like it when stylists treat plus-sized women the same way they do the Under 16 Crowd: by putting them in clothing that flatters, regardless of the number on the tag.

Melissa McCarthy's stylist has been guilty of not following this maxim. Often, I see her dressed in clothes that scream, "I am made for fat girls! This is a fat girl shirt!" and I find it disappointing because Melissa is so much better than that. Which is why I'm super happy with her latest esemble:

It's a floral wrap dress from ASOS and it looks fantastic. Often, florals can cause what I like to call "Aunt Edna's Couch Syndrome". This horrifying condition occurs when a plus-sized woman is put in the type of musty and outdated floral print that used to cover Aunt Edna's couch. You remember Aunt Edna: she smelled like mothballs and baby powder, always had a casserole in the oven and a hard candy in her purse, and she still had the same sofa that her parents gave her for her wedding in 1950.

Mel here has handily avoided looking like anything of the sort. This floral print is modern enough to look like this dress is still actually on the shelves, and it's not size-specific. I can see this dress on everyone from Helen Mirren to Dakota Fanning.

She also kind of killed it in the accessories department:



Fat girls can totally rock Jimmy Choo. They may be a smidgeon too high on the ankle in a leg foreshortening kind of way, and I might also wish that her nail polish was slightly more youthful but, really, I'm just splitting hairs.




And the bag! The bag! I don't know that I've seen a better example of how to mix prints in a long time. Same colors, similar scale, perfection! I need this bag. Please tell me it is also from ASOS...

1930's Tropics

The S/S14 collection from Hermes looks to be inspired by Doris Duke's days at Shangri-la and Katharine Hepburn's trek on The African Queen. 

Add a petrol green sweater dress to transition from winter to spring:

Pair a light, exotic-print blouse to lighten up a pair of jeans and riding boots:

Add a rustic vest or jacket to a pair of jewel-toned leggings and combat boots:

Wear your warm leather jacket with a summery drop-waist maxi skirt:

Complete the look with a few retro-inspired accessories:

Rooney Mara and Why Experimental Clothing Doesn't Always Work Out

I get reallly annoyed when people all look the same. Like how in my area right now it seems as if I can't go anywhere without seeing five pieces of Kendra Scott jewelry, eight pairs of Tory Burch Reva flats, and a half dozen Michael Kors Hamilton bags. I understand that oftentimes women who are around each other a lot start to dress alike, so it stands to reason that this will also happen when women shop at the same stores. If it's not tiring to dress like everyone else, then I certainly find it exhausting to look at. 

Which is one of the reasons I find Rooney Mara so refreshing. She has an ethereal and almost Swinton-ian quality about her that allows her to wear things your average cookie-cutter starlet could never dream of pulling off. Designers clearly love this about her and she is always wearing something interesting.

Like here, for example:

Rooney is promoting her new film called "Her" in Rome and her Balenciaga dress certainly looks like Her. It seems to be evoking a sheer version of Gwenyth Paltrow's now epic White Tom Ford Dress Avec Cape from the Oscars. 

Which is fine. Totally. I'm personally feeling rather beleagured by the recent "Everything is SHEER below the knee right now and bonus points if you go sheer from the waist down and get your actress to don a bodysuit or visible knickers of some kind and extra extra points if you include lace because lace is EVERYTHING right now." But I would rather look at two beaten-to-death trends when they are employed in a garment that is at least visually interesting. 

My problems with the get-up are twofold. Namely, that it is rather unflattering in the chestral region and it seems ill-fitted and/or moderately uncomfortable.

I will start with unflattering. The combination of clavicle and shoulder armor with the corresponding horizontal line of Strapless Dress With Bib creates a severe frame for Rooneys's underarm pooches. Now, everyone has these pooches. I have them. You know you have them. They are really not too bad, but certainly neither of us wants them to be hightlighted as the focal point of our torsos.

As far as the fit goes, the dress is either too large on top (which I doubt) or Rooney is uncomfotable with having to wrangle so many elements. 

Either way, she cannot stop messing with it.

She looks like she's had enough of Shoulder Warmer Bridal Veil Boob Napkin time and would just rather be wearing the lace minidress and fabulous lipstick.

Regardless, thanks for keeping it interesting, Rooney. 

Photos: Getty Images

Colored Boots for Fall and Winter

As I'm sure you are all well aware, I love color. There's nothing I find more sartorially depressing than a closet full of black or gray. One of the things that I love about Autumn is that it opens up so many more options for layering colors.

The keys to remember here are 1) keep the rest of your wardrobe neutral, 2) go monochromatic for an "easier" and more subtle look, 3) use complimentary colors to create more drama.

Steve Madden "Troopa" in Wine

Wear with:

Merlot Tights

Anne Klein "Caelina" in Navy

Wear with:

Dark Purple Tights

Tsubo "Tayla" in Charcoal

Wear with:

Espresso Tights

Elizabeth and James "April" in Forest

Wear with:

Mustard Tights

Steve Madden "Milaan" in Burgundy

Wear with:

Charcoal Tights

All tights courtesy of SockDreams. Shoes via Zappos.

My New Favorite Accessory

Though it's not quite chilly enough here in Austin for cuddly woolens, I can't help but indulge in my recent obsession: thigh-high socks. I wear mine layered over tights and peeking out of my boots. It's a nice way to create a tonal look or to introduce a splash of color to an otherwise neutral ensemble.

I have run into one slight problem, however. Namely, that many socks that are labeled "over-the-knee" or "thigh-high" end up being too short on my long and curvy legs. Or worse, the top band cuts uncomfortably into my knees. And the only thing worse than a muffin top is a muffin top on your legs (stem muffins? leg loaves?). The solution? A
plus size sock from Sock Dreams. They are thin enough that there is no bunching in my boots, but substantial enough to add warmth. My favorite part is the band. There's a soft and stretchy piece of elastic circling the cuff that keeps them in place without causing discomfort.

Here they are. The Extraordinary Thigh High:

Extraordinary Thigh Highs

Granted, I did not choose this color but my laptop is on its last legs and this is the only image it would let me upload. I purchased the Charcoal and will also be adding Black, Navy, and Burgundy.

Some of my other favorites: 



Wavy Top Over The Knee




Crochet Lover Over The Knees





Button Ribbed OTK



Extraordinarily Longer Thigh High

All photos courtesy of Sock Dreams.

Neon Fan

Wasn't I just saying that the most flattering of all the neon hues is pink? Well, look at what happened last Sunday: 



Fan Bingbing at the Oscars

This is a lot of dress. And she is tiny. But, somehow, this really works. First of all, look at her face. It's really hard to make that look unattractve. While I don't love the fact that the lipstick matches, it has the effect of making her look even more like a living doll.  

I mean, that is a serious amount of silk satin. I love that the folds are very structural. she looks like a Chinese princess made out of hot pink satin origami paper. I have always felt that Asian are more sartorially adventurous than us Westerners, and this just proves my point. What Western actress can you think of that would have pulled this exact look off so flawlessly? Potentially Blanchett.

The inset of embellishment at the back adds a bit of textural interest without detracting from the rest of the dress and has the effect of looking like an obi being peeled away. Super cool. Marchesa works for her because it has the right amount of dreamy drama to compliment her looks and personality.

This is also an instance of great styling. you can plop the dress on her but, as we saw from Renee Zellweger, that isn't where you should stop. The hair has to fit the face and the angles of the gown, while keeping the head in proportion to the rest of the body. This beehive looks retro, architectural, Asian, and modern. all at the same time. Perfect. I maynot have chosen pink sapphires for the jewelry as I feel it tends to blend in with the fabric and lipstick, but I don't really mind it either. In this case, a contrasting color like turquoise could have been striking, but may have been a bit overdone on such a small frame.

In short, this is flawless perfection and I want to have this dress and wear it around my house and to Target carrying a mimosa and long feather boa.

Neon Nation

Remember 80's neon? I do. I had a day-glo Body Glove t-shirt and neon pink leggings. I wore them with my tiered denim acid wash skirt and side ponytail. It was not a good look, but I was committed.

 

Since those days, designers have tried a few times to give it a comeback, but it's never really stuck. I assert that it's because neon just really is not flattering. In fact, they are harsh and aggressive. 

Neons are bullies. They scream "LOOK AT ME! I will burn your eyes and harass your retinas, but you will LOOK!" And I'm just not a fan of bullies.

Nicki Minaj

See? Isn't that harsh? I mean, the color of her hair actually hurts to look at. With such treacherous waters out there in the neon sea, I figure I should do my part to offer safe navigation.

Start small. Choose a piece of jewelry, watch, bow, belt, etc. They are easy to integrate into a closet and you can buy them cheaply enough to get rid of them when this trend's (hopefully, short) half-life is over.

Deborah Lippmann "Who Run the World (Girls)" Collection

Alexis Bittar

Adidas

Topshop

J. Crew

Nordstrom

If you are going to wear any highlighter color at all, I feel the best choice by far is pink. While you may risk it bringing out unflattering redness in your skin, it won't make you look nearly as zombie-riffic as yellow or green.

For the love of all that is sacred a pure, please put your neon on a neutral. Navy blue works especially well, but khaki, grey, and most any denim will work very nicely. White is a bit more challenging, as it can increase the harshness of the neon and give you a 'highlighter on printer paper' effect. Someone with medium to deep skintones can pull this off, but I encourage the pale girls to stay away.

J. Crew

If you feel particularly bold, choose a neon shoe or bag.

Vans

Rebecca Minkoff

J. Crew

J. Crew

Wouldn't those Vans look adorable with cuffed skinny jeans? The sandals would work with denim shorts and the flats would look great with a navy skirt.

Wear this with khaki shorts/skirt and boat shoes for a nautical look:

J. Crew

 Tuck this into a navy pencil skirt and pop a blazer over it for work:

Ted Baker

Add a dark denim jacket and a grey tank for date night:

J. Crew

And please, please, please, do not wear multiple neon colors at once. You may end up looking like this: